Beards, among other things, drastically change the appearance of the shape of your face, and selecting the right beard type for your face is very important. Please note, I will cover this in the How section, but when growing any sort of beard or mustache, it is highly suggested that you grow a full beard first and shave away what you don't need from there, but more on this later.
So beards change the appearance of the shape of your face, right. So lets start off with what kind of face do you have. There are several kinds of face shape to have, and some are more suited to beards than others, although all men who truly want to be men should have beards. Its scientifically proven. But lets consult the chart below:
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| They all kind of look like pedophiles... |
You should have some kind of idea what your own face shape is and can choose something accordingly. A good rule of thumb is that if your face has some kind of distinctive feature, your beard should do the opposite of that. So for example, if you have the inverted triangle face, you definately don't want a long chin beard, since it will accentuate that feature and make you look like a praying mantis. Remember female praying mantises get eat their mates after sex, NO NO NO. The size of your head is also important. I've seen too many muscled men walking around, chock full of roids, that have these tiny heads. Perfect candidate for a beard. A beard can make your head look bigger, which is awesome if you have a small head. Medium sized heads don't need to puff out so much, so maybe a more conservative beard would suit you better. Large heads, how here is the kicker. I have a large head and whilst reading up for this blog, discovered that most people suggested people with large heads go the full hog and have a full beard to make their head even bigger. It works, don't know why but if you struggle to find hats to fit you (like me, curses) then let that sucker grow. Another good example of this is someone who has a weak chin, that is their chin does not go beyond the boundaries of their face, the anti Bruce Campbell if you will. This is easily fixed with a beard as it gives false substance to your face and can give you what resembles a more regular chin line. On chin lines, if, like me, you suffer the after effects of an over sedantry life (i.e. you are a fat bastard) then a beard can do wonders for restoring the idea that there is a chin under all those rolls of fat and give you something of your intended face shape back. Please note though, that as manly men of manliness, we don't give a shit what others think, especially those she devil womenfolk, growing a beard is for you and you alone.
So now we have the shape and size of your head, what next? Well there are literally thousands of beard designs, even some bespoke ones that look utterly idiotic, like this numbskull below.
Don't do that. Please. Ever. Thanks. Your beard is your personal choice, and if you really want to go for something like this above, then don't let anyone stop you. I might not like it, but I respect the determination at least. Anyways there are some generally accepted basic designs for beards, and you should follow, with some kick ass names, like the Lincoln after the wood cutting vampire slaying president of Murica. Here are some examples:
All you need to do is chose one that you think will go well with your face (remember the opposite of what your face shape is) and go for it. More on the going for it later. And finally if you are not yet convinced on the epicness of beards, have a look at this chart scientifically proving that bearded men are more trustworthy and shaven men are devious.
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